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Patience My Friend

I have absolutely no patience! Okay… I have a little, but not much. I’m not afraid to admit that I want things when I want it, and I get frustrated when things don’t go my way. YES I AM A BRAT! All jokes aside, I have been working a lot of my patience. I mean, I’ll have to have tons of patience with a baby, right?

As I’m eagerly awaiting my daughters arrival, I tell myself to be patient. I am going to have many lifetimes with her and I need enjoy this time to prepare for her arrival. I also need to enjoy this time to reflect and get myself together. My life will NEVER be the same once my daughter arrives. So, practicing patience is my bestie right now.

Here is a few techniques I do to help me practice patience.

  • Breathe: It may seem simple, but when you’re preparing for a child, things can get out of hand. Remembering to breathe is highly important.
  • Relax: When I am really excited about something, I tend to get anxious. Yes, it’s great to be excited about meeting my daughter. However, it’s not healthy for my body to release those hormones. It can be harmful to the baby as well. So, trying to relax is a great thing to do.
  • Make a list: I love to plan things! I am a tad bit of a control freak. So, this always puts me at ease (sometimes). In this situation, making a list of things that I have to do by the time she arrives, helps me be more patient. Lets be honest here, it’s going to take me sometime to get organized and it’s reassuring that I still have time to complete certain things.

Those are just some things I do to help me be more patient with waiting on my daughters arrival. Of course, this is an exciting time, but learning to be patient before will help you be more patient when you’re holding your baby.

Until next time xoxo

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Breastfeeding

I never understood the benefits of breastfeeding until I started taking classes and researching about it. There are sooo many benefits to breastfeeding, and I don’t understand why people wouldn’t want to at least try it.

Before we became a more technology/modern society, women used to breastfeed their children. There was no such thing called “formula”. In fact, formula has only been around since the late 1800s. I don’t know about you, but that’s not a long time. If people weren’t using formula until then…what were they using??? Their breast.

I strongly believe because we live in an over sexualized world now, people cannot fathom the idea of children getting their food from the same source men use for pleasure. However, I’m here to tell you that breast were not created for pleasure. They were created as a way to provide children with the nutrition they need.

I’m not writing this to convince anyone to throw away the formula and breastfeed. While it’s the best food for our babies, I think we should consider all the options available to us and make an informed decision. I have attached two articles to this post today. One of the articles outline the timeline of breastfeeding and the other list the importance of breastfeeding.

While I have lots to learn about breastfeeding, I am excited to share my journey with you! I have made a commitment to breastfeed for the first year and a half of my child’s life. Woah!! I know, but I believe with patience, faith, and determination, I will succeed!

Be sure to check out the links below!

Until next time, XOXO

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Move Baby Move

The first time I felt my daughter move was confusing to say the least. Let me explain why. I was told that you don’t typically feel your baby move until like 18-20 weeks and it would feel like butterflies. Now, I never really understood what a butterfly feeling would feel like, but I just went with it. I figured it would feel like I swallowed a butterfly or something and you’d feel them trying to escape. Silly…I know!

When I felt my daughter move, I Googled what that would feel like. To my surprise, a lot of women felt the way that I had. Sometimes it can be confusing because, it can be gas and not the baby actually moving. However, I was sure this wasn’t gas and it was her moving. The more I felt the movement, the more I became excited!

I am a weirdo when it comes to understanding how babies are actually produced/conceived. I look at it as we swallowed a human and now they are growing within us. It’s still kinda hard for me to fathom how a life within a life grows, and comes out into the world, to become old. It’s actually pretty remarkable! As my child becomes bigger and the more she moves, she brings so much joy to my heart!

When I’m having a bad day, it’s like she knows by her moving it will brighten my day. My daughter is EXTREMELY active, especially at night or when I listen to music. I guess it’s safe to assume she’ll be a night owl and a lover of music. However, her activity throughout the day or even at night makes me wonder what she’s doing in there. Is she stretching? Is she playing? Is she upset? Lots of questions cross my mind, but it still lightens my heart to feel her move.

I catch myself saying, “move baby move! Go baby go”. It’s a little song I made up. But, I want you to take time out of your day to just enjoy the little things your bundle of joy is doing. It’s within these moments that I understand how blessed I am. It’s in these moments I understand how amazing God is. We’re so busy with life and preparing for our babies, that we need to just embrace their kicks or punches. We need to take this time out to appreciate the things they do now, because it will prepare us for all the things they will accomplish within their lifetime.

Until next time xoxo

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Nobody Asked You!

I have always been protective of women who have conceived a child outside of marriage or who are single mothers, especially black women. Obviously, I am black and of course I’d be more protective, right? That’s not entirely true though, and I am going to explain why. We live in a world that is constantly putting so much more pressure on women of color and bashing them for doing the same thing other races do. Now, this post is not meant to play the race card. Although, race plays a huge factor in this world. I am writing this post for all the mothers out there who are single mothers or mothers in general.

When people see me and notice that I am pregnant, they automatically look to my left hand. When they notice I am not married, they give me this look as if they are disappointed or they feel bad for me. I typically roll my eyes and keep it moving. When I scroll through social media, I see a lot of posts bashing women, especially black women for having a child outside of marriage. Those post piss me off and sometimes I confront those people who made such ridiculous statements.

I am writing this post today to let those who feel their “opinions” on someone else’s life is valid, that NOBODY ASKED YOU! 

Obviously, having a healthy two parent household is ideal for any child. However, life doesn’t always work out that way. My journey has taught me that it is better to raise my daughter as a single parent, than to raise her up in an unhealthy environment.

People need to realize just because a woman is having a child, doesn’t mean her life holds less value. God already knew that persons path before they were born. He already knew this person was going to be a single parent. However, he loves them anyway. Women become single parents for multiple reasons and it’s not okay for people to put them down for that. Also, let’s be real here. If you’re sexual active, it’s only a matter of time before you are blessed with a bundle of joy.

I was always taught, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”. I know, I cannot control what others do or say, but I can encourage another woman to stay strong. When you hear negative things about your life and your decisions, I’m here to tell you to ignore it. Your future is just as bright as anyone else’s. Your child doesn’t take from you, but they add so much more to your life. 

Remember, God doesn’t give you anything you cannot handle.

Keep pushing.

Keep living.

And tune out the negativity.

Until next time, Xoxo

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Crazy Pregnancy Things

My pregnancy journey has been a beautiful one. I’ve had moments where I started stressing out about being able to take care of my child as a single parent at 25, to stressing about if my child would find me funny. I am someone who over thinks and tries to plan everything, so this journey has been very interesting. No one could’ve every prepared me for this and no amount of stories could help me understand the changes that your body goes through. I’ve decided to share some of the things I’ve experienced while being being pregnant with you. So, make sure you check it out below.

  1. No one told me that my belly would prevent me from seeing my lady parts: Whenever I look down, all I see is my belly and there isn’t a way to move it out the way. I find it hilarious when I’m trying to figure out how to shave. It’s nearly impossible and I’m going to have to invest in getting waxed soon.
  2. My hormones have increased a ton: I’ve heard stories about people hormones decreasing and not wanting to think about sex. However, my hormones have been the opposite. I think about sex often, but have no desire to be touched. It helps that I am single and have no need to be involved with anyone. So, I just keep my mind busy.
  3. My back aches: I’ve always had horrible back problems and my pregnancy has made it worse! I find myself sleeping in strange positions to alleviate some of the pain.
  4. I was told I’d have strange cravings: I was told that I’d eat weird combinations of food. However, the only thing I want is beef. I eat so much beef, I think I’m going to turn into one if I don’t stop.
  5. I was told I’d eat more food: Truth is, I don’t. I only eat when I’m hungry and I never get full. It’s very strange. I still eat about 6 times a day, but I am never full. I thought I would eat everything and all day, but I don’t. I guess it’s a good thing because I won’t gain more weight than needed.

Those are just the top 5 things I’ve noticed during my pregnancy. It’s has been a beautiful experience and I’m enjoying my daughter kicks/punches. I find her to be extremely funny and I can only imagine what joy she will bring to my life when our eyes meet.

Until next time xoxo

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That’s My Best Friend

Growing up, I wanted to be everyone’s friend. I didn’t care if they treated me right, I just wanted a friend. Although, last year was very challenging, I did discover something….ME. Not only did I find out I was pregnant, but I learned how to be a friend to myself.

Often times, we put so much pressure on others to be that support system or that “friend” we can pour all of our troubles to. But, we have to realize that we have to be that type of friend to ourselves. Of course, people love you and want to be here for you, but they have things they go through as well. It’s not fair that we place them on this pedal stool to be everything we lack.

We are energy beings that feeds off of both positive and negative energy. If we are constantly dishing out our worries and our insecurities on our friends, then it can become draining for them. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t vent to your friends, because if they are truly your friends, then they would listen. However, we have to find a balance.

I found that balance and it is and has taken me sometime to understand how to be a true friend to myself. I value my peace of mind and I am protective of my space. So, I will not allow anyone to invade what God and I worked so hard to build. Was it an easy journey? No. I’ve had plenty of people in my life drain me mentally and physically, but, I didn’t care as long as we were “friends”, it was okay.

At 25, I have learned to be my own best friend. I’m learning to seek God and myself for the troubles that arise in my life, before considering going to a friend. I go on brunch and movie dates by myself now. I take myself to get my nails done and I am in the process of traveling alone. I now understand that just because my friends cannot do something with me, doesn’t mean they don’t care. Just because they cannot answer every call doesn’t mean they don’t care. Just because they call me there friend doesn’t mean they are my friends.

Friendships are just like a romantic relationship. It’s two people contributing to a platonic relationship and not becoming or draining that relationship. I truly believe when we learn to be our own best friends, we won’t allow the wrong people in our lives and we will appreciate the genuine friends we do have.

Remember, you only can learn how to be a true friend, by being a true friend to yourself.

Until next time xoxo

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Fitness Pregnancy

As you may know, I have gotten into health and fitness over the last few years. I feel when you’re healthy and looking good, you’ll feel good. In the beginning of my pregnancy, I wasn’t working out as much and I was indulging in plenty of sweets!

I was reading an article about how to have a healthy pregnancy, and fitness and eating the right foods was on the top of that list. Also, many years before I became pregnant, I said I didn’t want to gain a lot of weight whenever I had a child. So, I decided to hit the gym.

I have a friend I workout with and she is also pregnant. To my surprise, her daughter is due in September. So, I figured this was a perfect match! We typically workout 3 times a week and it’s nothing too strenuous.

I’m going to share with you a few reasons why I believe working out while pregnant is beneficial.

  1. It builds confidence: pregnancy brings on a ton of emotions and feeling attractive is something women struggle with during this time. I know going to the gym for me, helped give me a boost of confidence. Although, I’m growing a human, I’m looking good while doing it.
  2. It releases stress: I don’t know about you, but pregnancy can be extremely stressful….if you allow it. Going to the gym helps me to release my stress hormones and provides a space for me to clear my mind.
  3. Strengthens your muscles: My doctor informed me that working out during pregnancy will help to strengthen the muscles I’ll be using to give birth to my daughter. I figured, working out during my pregnancy could help my delivery go a lot smoother.
  4. It’s relaxing: I tried water aerobics for the first time and I will be doing this class once a week now. But, I felt extremely relaxed after taking the class and I laughed a ton! It’s something about the swaying of the water and jumping up and down that cracks me up. I forgot how much I enjoyed being in the water and just letting my body float.

Those are my top 4 reasons for working out during pregnancy. Of course, there are plenty of more reasons, but I thought those were the most important. Also, make sure you get clearance from your doctor. Your doctor knows you and your body very well. They know what will or won’t cause harm to the baby.

I’ve also included a few photos below! Make sure to check it out.

Until next time, xoxo

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Find Your Voice

My pregnancy has helped me to find my voice and myself. I’ve been on this self discovery journey for a few years now and I’m still on it, but I can finally see me at the end.

For as long as I could remember I have always been a people pleaser. If it would make others happy, despite if it caused me pain, I’d do it. It was better for them to be happy than me. I’ve dated plenty of jerks in my life and each time I put aside my feelings to please them. To be honest, my eagerness to please people went beyond romantic relationships. I often found myself wanting to please the entire world, from coworkers, to friends and family, and even church folks.

What I found in all of that is depression and anger. I pleased everyone at the expense of myself and it caused me to regret many things in my life. However, finding out I was pregnant was my breaking point. I thought becoming pregnant outside of marriage deemed me as damaged goods. I mean, it is a sin to have a baby out of wedlock, right? While that may be true, God has forgiven me and I have forgiven me.

My baby has saved me in more ways than I can say. For the first time, I’m finding out who I am and not caring what others think. I refuse to allow myself to remain broken, in order to please others. It’s not fair to my child. I now speak up and stand for what I want. I’m understanding what love really is and it’s a beautiful thing.

I’ve accepted some hard truths about my life and my journey, and rebuked false truths and people’s perception of me. Truth is, it doesn’t matter what other people say. It only matters what you say and what you believe to be true. The world can be a cruel place and if you allow your voice to be mute, and you don’t figure out how to truly love yourself, it will destroy you. My pregnancy has taught me that people will always have something to say. It’s only what you or myself believe to be true.

God said, “he has plans to prosper me and to not cause me harm. He has plans to give me hope and a future”. I believe and know that to be true. So, to hell what statistics and people have to say! I’m here to tell you to embrace your journey and create the best damn life there is!

Until next time xoxo

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Feeling Forgetful???

I believe I am semi organized and I tend to remember the things that I have planned for the day or month. However, I have been having a very difficult time remembering things.

It’s this thing that’s called, “pregnancy brain”. Yeah, I know! Sounds crazy right? I didn’t know this was a thing until my best friend told me. So, I researched it and to my surprise it was definitely a thing. If you had a hard time remembering things before, now that you’re pregnant, it’s going to be even more challenging.

Work was the most challenging for me. I have always excelled at everything I did and I’m a hard worker. For some odd reason, I kept forgetting to do my daily task at work. No matter how many sticky notes or reminders I had set, I still managed to forget. I became so overwhelmed and stressed, that I’d cry every day about forgetting the smallest things. I would plead that I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I just forgot or couldn’t remember to do certain things.

Well, I am here to tell you that there is a method to this madness. Check out a few suggestions I have below that can help you stay on task and fight the “pregnancy brain” phenomenon.

  1. Relax: Understand that your entire body is going through changes, and it will take some time to adjust.
  2. Get a planner: Having a planner can help you to stay organized and help you to plan ahead.
  3. Write down your schedule in your phone calendar: We always have our phones and when you set your alarms or place certain things within your calendar, your phone reminds you.
  4. Download a “To Do List” on your phone: Having an app like this will be extremely helpful. It will remind you that you have things you need to accomplish for the day.
  5. Do the task right away: If you must schedule a meeting or do certain things at work, do it right away while it’s fresh on your mind.

These are just a few things I have done to help me become more organized. I still forget things, but I have gotten a lot better! Always remember to take it day by day and to not beat yourself up. You’re growing a human for crying out loud and it’s okay if you forget something’s.

Until next time xoxo

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Make It Happen Monday

To ensure you’re staying on task and getting things accomplished, you must make a list! When you’re making your list, it’s important to be realistic. Don’t say you’ll accomplish 20 things for one day, when you’ll only get to 5 of those things. When you set unrealistic goals for the day or even monthly goals and you don’t achieve them, it makes you feel like you’ve accomplished nothing. When in fact, you just stretched yourself too thin.

I’m going to break something down for you, so make sure you write this down or simply research it.

There is 365 days in a year. Which breaks down to 7 days a week. Which then breaks down to approximately 8,760 hours within a year.

If you’re in business for yourself or you work for someone, that’s typically an 8 hour shift. You have 16 hours remaining in the day and that’s not counting the time you have to eat, sleep, and spend time with the people you love. So, realistically you may have about 5 hours (give or take) to accomplish the goals you set out for yourself for the day.

I’m saying all of this to say, be realistic when you plan for your day. Don’t overwhelm yourself, but stay true to what you said you would do.

I for an example, set at least 4-5 goals to accomplish daily. I set monthly goals as well. I take in account my schedule and evaluate what needs to get done. I set a priority list to a non priority list. When I accomplish all 5 of those things, I feel really good about myself.

So, here is my challenge to you for the week.

  1. Make a list.
  2. Prioritize the most important to the least important.
  3. Have at least 5 things on your list that you can do on a daily basics (Be realistic).
  4. Execute the list.

Remember, whatever you say you’ll do for the week, hold yourself accountable.

Until next time xoxo

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