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Postpartum Is Real

The thing no one likes to talk about...

Depression is real. 

Post-Partum depression is real.

Stay at home mom depression is real.

Nobody likes to talk about these things. I feel like it was touched on while I was pregnant but, not really TALKED about. My pregnancy was good physically but, emotionally and mentally, it was not the best. I lost a lot of support. Friends ditched me. Family abandoned me. I had people but, I lost a lot of people that I thought would always be there.

So, after I had my baby I fell into a really dark place. A place I’ve never been before. As the months went on, it was really up and down...mostly down. I felt like I was failing myself. However, I fought every day to not fail my daughter. I didn’t want to go anywhere, talk to anyonebarely wanted to shower, let alone wash my hair. 

I began meditating. Forcing myself out the bedthe house. Working on problems that could be solvedone problem at a time. We as humans tend to overwhelm ourselves and worry about a million things at once. I had to tell myself to stop worrying because, I can only handle one thing at a time, no matter the importance. I live by this now and that life is a Journey. We’re on a long road and have no idea where it’s going to take us. 

No matter how much we plan, try to redirect or get knocked down along the way, we are on a journey and we have to Embrace it. 

Until next time xoxo

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Written by: Bree Frye

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You’re A Super Hero

I look at being a mom as, “I’m a Superhero”.
I carried a life for 9 (technically 10) months.
I watched as my body rearranged itself into ways I didn’t even think were possible, in order to prepare for me to bring a life into the world.
I felt life on the inside of me. Kicking, moving around, hiccups, and listening to the heart beat at doctor appointments.
I followed apps that showed me week by week the progress of what was manifesting inside of me.
I ached with pain as my body prepared itself to release a life in the world.
Even with an epidural, I felt life come out of me. I still remember that feeling of the doctor placing my warm baby on my chest for the very first time.
I watched as my breast filled with milk, releasing itself when it got too full, and I watched the same breast nurse and nourish a child.
God deemed me good enough. God deemed it necessary for me to experience this. I’ve always felt it was my duty as a woman to reproduce, and aide in keeping humanity going. God declared that I was ready to take on that job.
I gave life to a future doctor or lawyer or artist or musician or writer or feminist or whatever she decides to be. I helped create a new generation.
And for that, I am a Superhero! Whenever I get discouraged, scared or frightened by the things that life throws my way. I literally tell myself “You birthed a child. You brought LIFE into this world. You’re a superhero and if you did that, you can do anything!” 
Until next time xoxo
Written by: Bree Frye
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Momming Is Hard

Being a mom is hard! Lol. I don’t know if our moms, the women in our lives, or Clair Huxable, and Aunt Viv made this look easy. However, it’s hard! I’ve been a mom for exactly one year and a day today. I’ve been “mommy Bree” for exactly 2 years,7 months, and 23 days, to be exact.

Being a mother to two girls is hard! Im not only a mother, but I am a momprenuer. That means that I have two full time jobs that never stops. My mind is always racing, there are always people touching me! Don’t get me started on the anxiety and depression spells.

I don’t know how our moms and infamous TV show moms made this look so easy. However, I do know that being a mom is an instinct. You just get it. It’s like something clicks the moment you look in your babies eyes. I’ve lived 26 years, but my true journey really began one year and one day ago.

Until next time xoxo

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Written by: Bree Frye

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The 3 Ms: Marriage, Motherhood, & Myself

Being a mommy and a wife is such a blessing! Everyday I get to share my life with two people who mean the world to me. It is so fulfilling to put a smile on their faces. The two of them are my entire heart!

The love I have for my husband and daughter pushes me to strive to be the best wife and mother that I can be. From dawn to dusk, I dedicate myself to being all I can be for them and I won’t ever regret it! But one thing that I could do a lot better at, is taking care of myself. I have to remember to go just as hard for myself! The day my daughter was born I said that my life is no longer my own. But that’s only partially true. My life is not JUST my own anymore.

So, I am putting myself back on my to-do list! I am going to take time to do the things that I enjoy and that my mind, body, and soul needs! I am going to be the example that my daughter needs by loving myself beyond words, so that she always values herself and knows that she too is important. We try to be everything for everyone but we won’t be any good for anyone if we dont first take care of ourselves. 

Until next time xoxo

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Written by: Alexis Gillis

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There Is No One Size Fits All!

Diapers are NOT one size fits all…neither is potty training!

At my daughter’s FIRST birthday party, I was bombarded by the question, “is she potty trained yet?”. To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about it yet. The very next day, I went out and bought all the supplies needed for successful potty training. We were behind and this must get done now! (Or so I was made to believe).

I got online.

I read all the books.

I asked all the questions.

I had a full proof plan! In just 3 days she would be potty trained, and in one week she would be nighttime trained. Right? WRONG! She didn’t even sit on the potty seat for the first 3 days!

I felt like such a failure. People’s well intended advice turned to criticism. And I went out to buy yet another box of diapers!

A year later, my daughter is FINALLY POTTY TRAINED! AND it was not due to any fancy manual I read! Her and I got here on our own journeys, at our own time. See, she’s not any other child and I’m not any other mom. We are an unique duo! What worked for others did not work for us and what worked for us may not work for you. Motherhood is like a fingerprint. We all have one, but they’re all vastly different. You would never try to change your fingerprint to be more like someone else’s.

I realized early on that motherhood is not one size fits all. Although, there are tons of helpful advice out there, I have to be true to myself, and rock it out with works best for me and my mini me!

Written by: Alexis Gillis

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Working Mommy

I went back to work on Monday….and the rest is history.

I’m just kidding 🙂

I know I’m not the only mother who dread going back to work. It means less time with your baby and nobody wants to do that. Luckily for me, my job allowed me to work from home for a month. Can you say “BLESSED!” So, I get to enjoy my little pumpkin a little longer.

I foolishly thought working at home and taking care of my daughter would be a walk in the park. Boy was I wrong! My daughter is extremely colicky, but she’s also use to me dropping everything and anything when she cries. Well, Ms. Chloè had to learn a very tough lesson early on.

Monday was crazy! I work 3pm-12 midnight. When I logged into work as I normally do, she wasn’t having it. She wanted me to hold her, talk to her, look at her, bounce her, walk her around, etc. I could do none of those things, because I have a quota to meet at work. As my baby cried, I felt horrible! I mean who wants to hear their child cry, right?

I was trying to work and tend to her needs without falling behind at work. My anxiety was out the window! I started feeling extremely overwhelmed and doubted several times that I couldn’t do this. My mother had just gotten back from her trip, so I felt really bad that she had to step in to help me. She was going off of 4 days of no sleep! But, what are mothers for.

As the night concluded, I had to calm myself down. My daughter doesn’t know that mommy had to work. All she knew was, I want my mommy and she’s ignoring me. Going back to work is an adjustment for both my daughter and I. I’m learning to have somewhat of a schedule and she’s learning that mommy has to work to provide for her. Although, Monday was stressful, we made it through.

Nobody said this journey would be easy, but it’s so worth it!

Tell me about how you adjusted to going back to work and what challenges you faced.

Until next time xoxo

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It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

It has been 6 long and exciting weeks since I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. Chloè was born on July 11, 2018; weighing 8 pounds and 6 ounces. Yeah, I definitely tore some, but it was so worth it! I was in labor for 7 LONG HOURS and I didn’t take any meds (I was determined not to).

As I’m sitting outside, I decided to reflect on what I’ve learned thus far. There is a huge difference between being pregnant and actually having your child. Let me explain what I mean. As I previously mentioned in my other posts, I am a single mother. When I was pregnant, I had accepted the fact that my child’s father wouldn’t be apart of our lives. I was able to get through my pregnancy in a healthy mindset because of my support system, and my ability to keep moving forward.

When I had Chloè, I’m not going to lie. I had hoped that her father would show up. However, he didn’t. I held things together in front of my family and friends, but truth is, I was devastated. I am very close with my father and I wanted nothing more for my child to have that same relationship. However, that’s not our reality.

The first two weeks from home was hell! It’s been only me for the last 25 years and I had no clue what to do with a baby. My child endured a lot her first week home, and I mean a lot! I cannot tell you how many times I called the doctor, went to see specialists, and even went to the emergency room. I felt like a horrible mother…person for what my baby was going through. I mean, you’re supposed to make things better, right?

I literally cried everyday! I cried because I felt she deserved a better mother. I cried because I wanted to sleep, but couldn’t. I cried because I knew this precious human being was looking up to me, and I had no freaking clue what to do. I cried just to cry because it was all overwhelming. I felt like I was on autopilot and my brain wasn’t really processing this life change.

One day, my mother came home early. She gave me a pep talk and reinsured me that I could do this. It was in that moment that I knew things would be okay.

As time went on, things did get better. I had to realize that I’m new to this just like Chloè. There is no handbook on how to be a parent…you do the best you know how. Listen, I’m not sharing this with you to have a pity party. Because, I am truly blessed. Yes, my journey may be challenging. However, God has me 100%.

I believe people put so much pressure on new mothers and mothers in general to be perfect. When that’s impossible! No one is perfect in fact. Being a parent…a single parent is hard work! There are no breaks. There is no one else, but you. I shared this with you because, I want you to know it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel angry. However, don’t dwell there. I want you to pick yourself up and keep moving forward!

Your beautiful baby is looking to you for guidance and strength. You are strong and capable! Things will be challenging, but I believe they will get better.

Until next time xoxo

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35 Pregnancy Lessons

In honor of my 35th week in pregnancy, I thought I’d share 35 things I’ve learned thus far!

Check it out below:

  1. Don’t dwell on negativity
  2. Don’t compare your life to anyone else’s
  3. Understand your words have power
  4. Remain positive in all situations
  5. Appreciate your family
  6. Appreciate your friends
  7. Learn to be alone
  8. Develop a prayer habit
  9. Develop good eating habits
  10. Do what you say and say what you mean
  11. It’s okay to cry. However, don’t allow your pain to consume you
  12. Don’t count yourself out, but always count yourself in
  13. Understand you have nothing to prove to anyone, but God and yourself
  14. Date yourself
  15. Learn to appreciate yourself
  16. Build a healthy relationship with yourself
  17. Invest in yourself
  18. Build your dreams and not someone else’s
  19. Don’t apologize for being you
  20. It’s okay to let go of people you’ve outgrown
  21. You don’t have to tolerate BS from anyone
  22. Be confident in the decisions you make
  23. Understand life is full of ups and downs, but it’s your attitude that will make or break you
  24. Just because life didn’t go as planned, doesn’t mean your life won’t be better than planned
  25. You’re in control of your future and present
  26. Let go of any regrets
  27. Let go of past hurts
  28. Stop expecting people to be how you are
  29. Accept people for who they are
  30. When someone shows you them true selves, believe them
  31. Don’t accept anything less than what you deserve
  32. Never give up on love
  33. Travel often
  34. Laugh every chance you get
  35. Live life to the fullest everyday

There you have it! My list of things I’ve learned or came to accept thus far during my pregnancy journey.

Let me know what you have learned/came to accept thus far in your journey!

Until next time xoxo

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Live On Purpose

I listen to a lot of motivational speakers. I hear them saying to “live on purpose” and that you can have an abundant life now. I never understood what that meant, until recently. I mean, if you’re living…aren’t you living on purpose? AND don’t you have to wait until you’ve reached your goals or level of success in life, BEFORE you can have an abundant life? WRONG!

  • Abundance means, “the state or condition of having a copious quantity of something; plentifulness” (dictionary.com).
  • To live on purpose means, “to set priorities that align with what’s most important and strive to achieve that daily. Also, a person who lives a balanced life and invest their energy/time into things that matter most” (http://jenekapela.com/livewithpurpose/).

We often believe we have to wait until we’ve reached our ultimate goal in life before we can enjoy it. I know I’m guilty of thinking this way and I want to share something with you. When you deprive yourself of the now, you’re robbing yourself of life’s greatest gifts/moments. Yes, you have to be disciplined and focused to achieve your goals. However, you have to stop and enjoy the now.

You have to stop and enjoy the scenery.

You have to stop and be thankful for all that you have.

You have to stop and appreciate all that you’ve accomplished.

When we’re so focused on the future, we miss out on the present. The present is what help keep us grounded and prepares us for the future. In order to live on purpose, you have to plan for the future, learn from the past, and enjoy the present.

It’s in the moments that we allow ourselves to be appreciative of our current state, that we get launched into of future success. I am guilty of being ungrateful and constantly comparing myself to others. However, one day I stopped. I said enough was enough. Instead of me complaining about how I should be further in my life and trying to speed up my goals. I stopped and began to appreciate all that I have accomplished thus far. It’s in these moments, that I realize I have all I need to be happy and I’m so grateful for my life.

Living on purpose or an abundant life doesn’t mean you cannot plan or make goals. It means to enjoy your life now while planning for the future. Learn to appreciate your life and your journey. Because it’s all leading you to something bigger!

Don’t wait until you have “arrived” before you starting loving and appreciating your life. Do it now, and all the way until you hit every goal you have for yourself!

Until next time xoxo

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Love Yours

If you’re a fan of J. Cole, then you’ve heard him say a few times, “Love Yours”. I love those words because it reminds me to stop comparing myself and my journey to others and to love my life. Life is going to happen no matter what! The good, the bad, and the ugly will happen within your life, regardless of your current state. However, if we can learn to change our perception/attitude about the challenges we face, we can get through it.

Have you ever wondered how people who go through the toughest battles still manage to smile while going through it? I know I have. I am guilty of blaming God or others for the challenges I face in my life. When in fact, it’s those very challenges that helped mold me into the woman I am today and the woman I will be in the future.

I’ve taken on a new approach lately. Instead of me becoming angry when life happens, I embrace it. I love all parts of my life, including the not so great parts. Believe it or not, I’ve become stronger and more confident because of the bad. If my life was always good, I’m not sure I’d grow much.

Additionally, I’ve stopped comparing myself to others. I have NO clue what other people go through on the daily basis and if they do decide to share with me their journey, it’s still not my life. When we become so consumed with others and what their life looks like, we allow ourselves to become ungrateful of our life. I don’t care what ANYONE says, everyone goes though something! We ALL face challenges and battles. However, the people we admire are the ones who have changed their perception of their situation. Yes, they are facing something difficult. But, they still decided to have a positive mindset through it.

YOUR life and YOUR journey is so unique and it’s time to embrace that. You can have the life you crave if you learn to love yours!

Love all parts of your life! The good, the bad, and the ugly. I know I do.

Until next time xoxo

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