Posted on Leave a comment

Working Mommy

I went back to work on Monday….and the rest is history.

I’m just kidding 🙂

I know I’m not the only mother who dread going back to work. It means less time with your baby and nobody wants to do that. Luckily for me, my job allowed me to work from home for a month. Can you say “BLESSED!” So, I get to enjoy my little pumpkin a little longer.

I foolishly thought working at home and taking care of my daughter would be a walk in the park. Boy was I wrong! My daughter is extremely colicky, but she’s also use to me dropping everything and anything when she cries. Well, Ms. Chloè had to learn a very tough lesson early on.

Monday was crazy! I work 3pm-12 midnight. When I logged into work as I normally do, she wasn’t having it. She wanted me to hold her, talk to her, look at her, bounce her, walk her around, etc. I could do none of those things, because I have a quota to meet at work. As my baby cried, I felt horrible! I mean who wants to hear their child cry, right?

I was trying to work and tend to her needs without falling behind at work. My anxiety was out the window! I started feeling extremely overwhelmed and doubted several times that I couldn’t do this. My mother had just gotten back from her trip, so I felt really bad that she had to step in to help me. She was going off of 4 days of no sleep! But, what are mothers for.

As the night concluded, I had to calm myself down. My daughter doesn’t know that mommy had to work. All she knew was, I want my mommy and she’s ignoring me. Going back to work is an adjustment for both my daughter and I. I’m learning to have somewhat of a schedule and she’s learning that mommy has to work to provide for her. Although, Monday was stressful, we made it through.

Nobody said this journey would be easy, but it’s so worth it!

Tell me about how you adjusted to going back to work and what challenges you faced.

Until next time xoxo

Like ❤️ Comment ❤️ Share

Posted on 2 Comments

It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

It has been 6 long and exciting weeks since I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. Chloè was born on July 11, 2018; weighing 8 pounds and 6 ounces. Yeah, I definitely tore some, but it was so worth it! I was in labor for 7 LONG HOURS and I didn’t take any meds (I was determined not to).

As I’m sitting outside, I decided to reflect on what I’ve learned thus far. There is a huge difference between being pregnant and actually having your child. Let me explain what I mean. As I previously mentioned in my other posts, I am a single mother. When I was pregnant, I had accepted the fact that my child’s father wouldn’t be apart of our lives. I was able to get through my pregnancy in a healthy mindset because of my support system, and my ability to keep moving forward.

When I had Chloè, I’m not going to lie. I had hoped that her father would show up. However, he didn’t. I held things together in front of my family and friends, but truth is, I was devastated. I am very close with my father and I wanted nothing more for my child to have that same relationship. However, that’s not our reality.

The first two weeks from home was hell! It’s been only me for the last 25 years and I had no clue what to do with a baby. My child endured a lot her first week home, and I mean a lot! I cannot tell you how many times I called the doctor, went to see specialists, and even went to the emergency room. I felt like a horrible mother…person for what my baby was going through. I mean, you’re supposed to make things better, right?

I literally cried everyday! I cried because I felt she deserved a better mother. I cried because I wanted to sleep, but couldn’t. I cried because I knew this precious human being was looking up to me, and I had no freaking clue what to do. I cried just to cry because it was all overwhelming. I felt like I was on autopilot and my brain wasn’t really processing this life change.

One day, my mother came home early. She gave me a pep talk and reinsured me that I could do this. It was in that moment that I knew things would be okay.

As time went on, things did get better. I had to realize that I’m new to this just like Chloè. There is no handbook on how to be a parent…you do the best you know how. Listen, I’m not sharing this with you to have a pity party. Because, I am truly blessed. Yes, my journey may be challenging. However, God has me 100%.

I believe people put so much pressure on new mothers and mothers in general to be perfect. When that’s impossible! No one is perfect in fact. Being a parent…a single parent is hard work! There are no breaks. There is no one else, but you. I shared this with you because, I want you to know it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel angry. However, don’t dwell there. I want you to pick yourself up and keep moving forward!

Your beautiful baby is looking to you for guidance and strength. You are strong and capable! Things will be challenging, but I believe they will get better.

Until next time xoxo

Like ❤️ Comment ❤️ Share