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Mom to be???

As Mother Day is approaching, I ask myself a few questions.

  1. Can I celebrate this day? My child isn’t outside of the womb, so am I officially a mother?
  2. When can you officially say you’re a mother?

I’ve asked a few people their opinion on this and they’ve told me that you’re not “officially” a mother until the baby is born. You’re considered a “mom to be”. At first, I accepted this answer. However, the more I bond with my child, the more I accept that I am a mother even while she’s in the womb.

Here’s why I say that.

From the moment I decided to keep my child, I have put her needs before my own. I absolutely HATE taking pills! However, I have made it a priority to take my prenatals daily. I am also anemic, so I have to take iron pills during my entire pregnancy. So, you can only imagine the agony of taking two pills a day. Additionally, I have already included the possible expenses a baby can have in my budget plan. Planning is a responsible thing to do, and I have added someone else to my plans.

I’m in graduate school and I was on track to graduate during the winter semester of this year. However, I am very unorganized. I will start taking on additional hours at work. Growing a healthy baby is no walk in the park and I’m doing it alone. Of course, I have an amazing support system and I’m very grateful for them. However, I’m a single 25 year old female who is adjusting to a new life. So, you can imagine my level of stress on the daily basics?? I had to make a tough decision about school, but my daughter health is more important to me. So, I took the spring and summer semesteroff and will return in the fall.

I am not a very active person, but I hit the gym every now and then. I’ve NEVER in a million years researched the benefits of foods. For an example, I will not eat a Cesar salad. Most Cesar salads have raw eggs in their dressing and that is very harmful to the baby. Before I was pregnant, I loved these salads and it hurt my soul to let it go. However, her health is more important to me. I am currently working on a schedule that will incorporate exercise and healthy foods. This will overall help with her development and the pregnancy.

While my list can go on and on about the sacrifices I’ve made prior to her leaving the womb, I think I’ve painted a clear picture. Mothers make sacrifices and they love their child/children unconditionally. They put their needs before their own. I have and will continue to that for my daughter. I don’t have all of the answers, but I am just as much as a mother as any other mother who gets to hold their child in their arms. I feel my baby kick and I hear her heartbeat. She’s a baby just as much as I’m a mother….her mother.

With that being said. If you’re pregnant, celebrate Mother’s Day. You’re a mother now and will be for the rest of your life. Pat yourselves on the back for growing a human.

Until next time XOXO

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Balance, Balance, & More Balance!

As you know, I started graduate school last fall. I’m obtaining my degree in marketing…fun, I know! Well, I am pregnant and school has gotten 10 times harder! I’m not sure if it’s the actual work or the adjustments I have to make. Whichever it is, it’s still a major struggle.

In addition to going to school full time, I also work full time. So, I’m growing a baby ( a very active one I might add), going to school full time, and working full time…where do I find the time to breathe??

There is a trick to this madness and it’s called time management! Monday-Friday I go to work and do homework. I may dabble in fun activities with my friends on the weekend, but for the most part I’m doing my homework and relaxing.

Here are some tips to not drive yourself crazy while living life and growing a healthy baby!

  1. Prioritize: Whatever is most important, you should do that first. Of course, work comes first. However, if you can get up earlier to do some reading for class, try to do so. This way, when you get home, you can relax a little.
  2. Don’t procrastinate: I still struggle with this at times, but waiting until the last minute is not a good idea. Waiting until the last minute will create stress and stress for the baby is a no go. So, planning ahead is your best bet.
  3. It’s okay to say no: If you’re too tired to go out, it’s okay to say you’ll pass this time.
  4. Find ways to relax: Working a full time job, attending school full time, and adjusting to life as a pregnant person is a lot to deal with. It can be very overwhelming at times and that can lead to an anxiety attack. Try to do things that help you to relax and you can schedule this time if you need to. Calming both your mind and body is very important.
  5. Develop a routine: Having a routine is highly important. It helps to ensure things are getting accomplished and elevates some of the unwanted stress.

Those are just some quick tips to reference and I hope it helps! Of course, things take time and everyday brings a different challenge. However, if you have a positive mind and a determination to succeed, everything will work out the way that it should.

Until next time xoxo

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Dear baby girl

I recently decided to write letters to my daughter and I plan to give them to her when she’s older. There are a lot of things I’ve done in my life that I wished I hadn’t.

Maybe if I loved myself more, I would’ve walked a way sooner.

Maybe if I trusted God enough, I would’ve waited.

Although, my mistakes sometimes haunt me, I am grateful for them. If I didn’t make those bad decisions or date those guys, I wouldn’t of had found the courage to be me. I believe it all has prepared me for my beautiful baby girl.

When I think about the life I want for her and picture how she’ll bring so much joy to the world, I cannot help but to remember all of the things I didn’t do because of someone else.

As I write these letters to her, I plan to be honest and transparent. I want her to understand how important self love is and how to never be afraid to be herself. I know she’ll make mistakes, and I welcome them. Mistakes….good or bad is how we learn and grow as individuals. It’s within those mistakes that we find ourselves.

My daughter saved me and it’s now my job to guide her. Although, she’s in the womb growing, I love her already. I’m claiming a strong, healthy baby girl who will eventually blossom into a beautiful woman.

These letters are my gift to her. Sometimes it’s the words that are unsaid that are the most helpful.

Until next time XOXO

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Be Gone Stress

Stressing can be extremely harmful to a developing baby and to the mother to be. Stressing can cause early delivery and you can make yourself extremely sick. I know it’s easier said then done, but you have to find a way to stress less!

I am someone who likes to plan out everything! I have back up plans for days and I’m constantly thinking about the future…even as close as the next day. Crazy, I know! Since finding out I was pregnant, I wanted to make sure my baby didn’t suffer at my expense, due to me over thinking and analyzing everything. No matter what the day brings, I tell myself to not stress about it and to trust God.

I wanted to share some techniques I use to help keep me calm.

  • Take deep breaths: Inhale and exhale about 4 times very slowly. This allows you to clear your mind and get rid of any bad energy.
  • Play music: Make sure you play RELAXING music. Play something that will take your mind off of what’s stressing you out.
  • Go for a walk: Walking helps to release bad toxins in your body and allows you to blow off some steam.
  • Count down: Count down from 10 and by the time you reach 1, you should be calm.
  • Read a book: Reading a good book helps to take your mind off whatever is causing you stress. It tricks your brain to focus on something other than your problems.
  • Write it down: Writing down any of your concerns or frustrations is a way to elevate some of your worries. It’s like you’re putting it on paper and letting go of your problems. You’re releasing your worries and replacing it with positive thoughts.
  • Leave negative people and things alone: If anything negative arises, rebuke it! You don’t have time nor the space for negative vibes.

These are just a few things I do to relax me. Let’s be honest, there is a growing baby inside of me and that alone can be stressful. However, figuring out ways to let go of my worries is my number one priority.

I hope this helps!

Let me know what you think!

Until next time XOXO

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What Am I Having?

If you follow me on on any of my social media pages, then you already know what I’m having. However, you don’t know the story behind the surprise, so let me share.

When I was dating my boyfriend I didn’t want to introduce him to anybody! I know…silly right? Not really. Well, one day my mother accidentally met him, and who knew the words that would come next would change my life.

“That’s him!” She said.

“What are you talking about?”

“That’s who you’re going to have a baby by and you’re going to have a boy!” She said.

I laughed and brushed it off. I mean, there was no way I was going to have a baby…right?

Fast forward to November of last year when that pregnancy test was indeed positive, her voice went around in my mind. “YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY BY HIM! And it will be a boy!”

From the moment I decided to keep my child, I thought I was having a boy. I had the slightest idea how I’d raise a boy. What do they do? How do I teach them? How do I dress them? What do you do with a boy!?

As we started picking out names, my mother convinced me that I was having a boy. I mean…she was right about my child’s father. The idea of having a girl faded away and I accepted I was having a boy. I told everyone I was having a boy and what his name will be. I had dreams about him. Although, I couldn’t make out his face, I knew it was a boy.

I told myself I’d raise my son to be a stand up guy and I’d finally have to learn sports. Oh the worry that brought! The week before my reveal party, I painted my nails blue, because I KNEW I WAS HAVING A BOY.

Fast forward to the party. My family and friends were asking me what I wanted and what I thought I was having. I said a boy with confidence. As the time came for us to find out what was growing in my belly, I started to get extremely nervous. Whatever I was having, I just want a healthy baby.

As I cut into the cake……I noticed…..pink lines…..IM HAVING A GIRL!!!!!!!

Here is a video and some photos from my reveal party.

Until next time XOXO

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You’ve Got Options

It’s November and Thanksgiving is around the corner. I have been feeling pretty tired lately, but I am “over weight” so it could be my body telling me something. I started searching on Google about early signs of obesity and thyroid problems. To my surprise, my symptoms fit!

A few days had passed and my period isn’t here. That’s strange, I thought to myself. I had a conversation with my boyfriend about the possibility of being pregnant. “You’re not pregnant, chill out. And if you are, take a test”. Well, I didn’t want to pay for a test because I knew for sure my period was coming.

BOY WAS I WRONG!

November 29, 2017 changed everything! I have always imagined I’d be married and in my 30s with my first child. And I am 24 (almost 25) and not married. Of course, premarital sex was a no, no. However, I was sure this was the one and there was no way a pregnancy could happen.

As I sat on the bathroom floor and as the tears ran down my cheeks, my life flashed before my eyes. I felt like my life was over and that I had disappointed my parents. All of these negative thoughts consumed my mind.

You’re a statistic.

You’re an idiot.

You just ruined your life.

You’re damaged goods.

You’ll never be successful.

I personally couldn’t move. After about 20 minutes, I managed to get myself off the floor and tell my boyfriend the news.

BOY OH BOY..HE WAS NOT HAPPY!

I won’t go into much detail about the conversation with him, because this story is intended to let you know that YOU GOT OPTIONS.

After speaking with him, I told my parents. To my surprise, they were supportive. They simply told me that they will stand behind whatever decision I make.

I cried for weeks… it felt like! My heart ached and I felt depressed and alone. I reached out to this pregnancy clinic and made an appointment. She made me take another pregnancy test.

3 times a charm!

“Yep, you’re Indeed pregnant” she said. I just sat there with my head low and managed to ask her if God would forgive me. She came closer and said, “honey, he already has” and hugged me. I don’t know why, but I knew whatever I decided, it would be alright.

I researched a lot about abortions and spoke with the nurse about it as well. I never pictured raising a child on my own and felt they would be put at a disadvantage. As the thought circled around in my mind, I sat on the bed for my first ultrasound. Because I’m curious, I wanted to see if it was really a baby in my belly. When I looked at the screen, I seen this peanut. At 6 weeks, it was indeed a baby in there and they had a strong heartbeat. Tears started rolling down my face. How could I abort a living being?

The nurse mentioned adoption. I entertained the idea for a day….maybe two. However,  I could never give my child away. I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and cried and prayed and cried and cried and prayed. After about 2-3 weeks of crying and praying, I decided to keep the baby.

You see, my life is not over. I am not damaged goods nor am I failure. I am preparing to become someones mother. I have my whole life ahead of me and this is not the end, but the beginning. Believe it or not, my baby saved me from myself. I am sharing this because I want you to know that you have options to. God will guide you every step of the way. Trust in him and remain positive, and everything will be okay.

Until next time! XOXO

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