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Shake Your Comfort 

Life has a funny way of shaking things up. I’ll share a story with you all today. As you may know, I graduated from Oakland University in 2015. The only thing I knew at that point for a career choice was I wanted to be a writer for a living. Well, reality hit and it is very challenging to obtain that level of a lifestyle. So, as a typical college graduate, I got a corporate job. 

At first, this job was highly exciting. I had set goals and I excelled at every one I had set. About 6 months into the job, I started disliking it. I don’t like sitting at a desk all day. I don’t like starring at a computer all day. I don’t like cars. I found myself becoming depressed. I was very greatful for the opportunity to have a job. However, I was not being fulfilled in my career. 

I prayed and prayed and I was hired as a paraprofessional at a school. I enjoyed the children. I enjoyed hearing what they wanted to do in their life and helping them to stay motivated. However, I did not like teaching the kids. I guess I am not all the way mature in that aspect because, I have 0 patience and I hate repeating myself. 

I decided enough was enough and it is time to find what I want out of life. 

I quit my job and I relocated to Illinois to stay with my dad. I have decided to focus my attention on my writing and becoming a certified relationship coach (I have a obsession for how and why relationships do or don’t work). 

You see, if we are not careful. We will find ourselves in a position where we are just existing and not living. Yes, we all have bills to pay and you need to make money to live. However, I’m a firm believer that we should be doing what we love. God grants us all with gifts and we should be doing them daily. When you do what you love, the money will come. 

I’m not suggesting you quit your job and relocate because, that is a huge step! I have been planning to relocate for years and this was the right thing for me to do at this time in my life. 

However, if you’re feeling unfulfilled in your current position, don’t panaic. You’re not alone. It’s time to shake up your comfort zone and discover what you really want to do in life. 

You only get one life to live and you have to make it count! 

Let me know what you think! 

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Dear Self 

Dear self,

How did you get here? Where did time go? Where did you go?

There was a time that you were very happy. Happy with your career…happy with your relationship…happy with yourself…

What happened? Where did you go?

Life has a funny way of throwing things at you, that at times makes you feel why try…why bother. 

However, you have to be careful to not let the negativity of life knock you down. You have to be careful of letting unwanted energy and or people into your space. 

You’re hurting…why?

Is it because you feel you have lost so much? Friends…family…loved ones.

Is it because you feel unloved? You do know that’s not true.

Oh wait. 

Somehow in the mist of pleasing everyone one else, you lost yourself. You lost your voice. You lost your dreams and aspirations in life. 

You’ve become accustomed to what everyone else thinks about you and wants for your life, that you live in silence. You watch others tackle their dreams, while you silently wish you could. 

I’m here to tell you that you can. You can live you’re reality. You can be that women I know you to be. Just believe you can and you will. 

Take no crap from anyone else. Leave what people want for you at the door and start embracing what you want for you! 

Self, you rock and never forget it! It’s time to pick yourself up and begin living. 

Sincerely, 

Inner Voice

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Life has a funny way of knocking us down. Life moves so fast, that we tend to get swept up in it. You have to be careful to not allow life to take ahold of you because, you’ll find yourself wondering what happened and how you got in your current situation. 

You have to have a plan in this thing we call life. You have to stop worrying about other people perceptions of you and start embracing what you precieve of yourself. 

Repeat after me: I’m beautiful. I’m ambitious. I can do it. I will achieve my goals. I deserve to be happy! 

I want you to dust yourself off and take control of your life. Take control of you! 

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Money Doesn’t Buy Pleasure…Ever 

Happy Monday guys! 

I thought I’d share this inspirational quote with you this morning. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. 

Discipline is a way,

Of expression.

Say you want to express your feelings in stone.
Now stone doesn’t give way very easily.

It’s tough stuff.

And so you have to learn,
The skill or the discipline,

Of the sculptor,

In order to express yourself in stone.

So in every other way,
What ever you do,

You require a skill. 

And it’s enormously important,
Especially for American people,

To understand,

That there is absolutely no possibility,

Of having any pleasure in life at all,

Without skill. 

Money doesn’t buy pleasure, 
Ever! 

– Alan Watts –

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Refocus on YOU

Often times, when we are in a committed relationship we forget about us. We become so focused on our man/woman, that we forget about our wants and or needs. If you’re familiar with this, then you know you know where I’m coming from. 

I’m here to tell you that you cannot forget about you in a relationship. You still have to do the things that made you happy, and remember who you are while being in your committed relationship. 

I’m guilty of losing sight of my goals and what made me before I got into a committed relationship. And I can ensure you that by not focusing in on your wants and needs, you’ll put your relationship in jeopardy. I had to rediscover myself. I had to take myself out of my relationship and focus in on what Chelsea liked to do. 

No, this will not create a wedge between your partner and you. This will help the relationship grow, if done correctly. 

Here are a few ways to rediscover yourself!

  1. Go on a mini vacation by yourself: Learning to go on vacations by yourself will help you to be okay with traveling alone and will provide you the time to discover you while on the road. Just travel safe. You can look up how to do so, and I’ll write a post about it as well.
  2. Find out what you’re passionate about and do it often: I am very passionate about writing and helping people. I work full time at a school and I write for a living. When you take time out to focus in on what your passionate about and how to turn that into a profit, you’ll have less time to obsess over your relationship. 
  3. Date yourself: Learning to date myself was the best thing I could’ve done. I don’t need my man to go out to the movies with me and or to eat, because I can do that all by myself. Yes, I love our dates and the time that we do share with one another. However, when he is busy with his things, I just go out by myself.
  4. Hang with your friends: Let’s keep it real here. My boyfriend works a full time job, is an actor, and a model. Sometimes he just may not have the time to hang out with me like I want him to, so having my friends to hang with is really great. Never and I mean never get rid of your friends when you’re in a relationship. Real friends are hard to find and they will always be here for you no matter what. 

Those are the 4 things you can start to do to rediscover you. 

Of course, spending time with one another is highly important. Time spent vs time not spent can make or break a relationship. However, you have to be careful to not become your relationship. You have to still do the things that made you who you are before you got into that relationship. 

Let me know what you think! 

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Motivational Monday 

Happy Monday folks! I hope your day was full of adventure like mines 🙂 

For today, I would like to include 5 inspirational quotes about how to live your best life. 

I’ll let you in on a little secret before I mention them below. Majority of my mornings, I say a prayer, read my bible, and listen to videos about how to shift my mind. Let me tell you, that was the best thing I could’ve ever done. It helps me to become prepared for my day and to jump start a positive mindset. 

If you would like to jump start a more positive and fulfilling life, repeat these 5 quotes 3 times a week. I promise your mind will be transformed! 

  1. “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” –Harvey Fierstein.
  2.  “The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has been before.”-Albert Einstein.
  3.  “I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it.”-Maya Angelou.
  4. “I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me”- Phillipians 4:13
  5. It’s okay to feel sad. However, I will not dwell in my sorrow. Instead, I’ll pick myself up and give it all I got! -Chelsea S. Thomas 

These 5 quotes will help you obtain the prosperous life you have been so badly craving! 

Let me know what you think!!!

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Living Single

There is a bad stigma behind being single. When In fact, there is nothing wrong with being single. Although, I’m in a committed relationship and I’m very happy with my boyfriend; being single was a good time for me as well. 

I’m going to give you a few things you can do to embrace being single and how to have a good time doing so. 

Below are some ways to embrace your singleness! 

  1. Date yourself: You don’t need a man to take you out on a date. Learn to date you. I go to the movies and out to eat all of the time by myself. It’s actual refreshing and I have learned to enjoy my own company.
  2. Set personal goals and crush them: Alrhough, you are never to become your relationship (when you’re in one), being single is the perfect time to focus on you. I had set career goals and focused on building my business. I put all of my energy into what I wanted to do and focused soley on my wants and needs, and not someone else’s.
  3. Learn to love you: Learning to love you is the best thing you can do for you. Take the time out to learn what makes you happy and what makes you mad. Learn what you like vs what you don’t like. Learn to know what you are looking for in a man vs what you don’t want in a man. Learn to be your very own cheerleader, because if you love who you are, then so will your future mate.
  4. Date: Date when you’re ready of course. But when you get to this stage, date to have a good time and not just so much to find the one. Mr. Right will come when you least expect it and dating around is a great way to understand yourself and your likes vs not likes. 
  5. Develop a hobby: When you keep yourself busy with things that make you happy, you’ll have less time to think about being single. Learn a new skill or take up a new painting class. The more your day is filled with things, the less time you have to dwell on not having someone there. 

These are just the top 5 things I believe are the first steps to embracing being single! 

Remember, being single is a time where you can focus soley on what you want and learn to become the person you want to be. Also, this is the time to heal from the past hurts. 

Never look at being single as a bad thing. Look at it as a way to discover you!

Let me know your thoughts!!! 

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Why He Cheated

I was reading an article about the reasons why men cheat. To my surprise, most men cheat because they do not feel appreciated. While I do not tolerate cheating of any sort and that is the number one deal breaker for me, I can understand why that would lead to  cheating in a relationship. 

I recently had a wake up call in my relationship. I have developed this selfish all about me habit when it comes to being in a relationship. I have been hurt too many times in my past relationships, that I have this wall built between me and another individual. I figure, I’ll get everything I want out of someone before they leave me and disregard how they feel about things. I’ll be the first to admit, this is the wrong way to go about things in a relationship. If your you man is not making you feel secure about something, the best thing is to talk about it. You should never shut out what hurts them, because you feel they are hurting you. 

My boyfriend and I are not perfect, but we have no problem communicating how we feel about things between one another. Every morning before I head to work, I would give him a kiss goodbye and if he is awake enough, he compliments me on how I look. He actually compliments me a lot lol. If I am upset, he is there to comfort me and to listen to what I have to say.

My boyfriend is a very sweet and caring individual and I took that for granted. I realized after one disagreement we had about how I made him feel, that I did not show how much I appreciated him. I just figured he knew that I appreciated him. I am here to tell you to not assume your man knows you appreciate him. You have to show and tell him on a daily basics. 

I decided to write this post to outline someways to show your man that he is appreciated. 

  1. Plan a trip/outing for the both of you: This does not have to be expensive. You can look up local resorts or hotels within your area. Having a night out the house with just the two of you could be what you and he needs. And taking time to plan a trip somewhere shows appreciation, because it takes time to plan a trip. 
  2. Compliment him: We as women get complimented wherever we go. Men really do not get complimented as much as we do, and it can do things to their self-esteem. Men not only get haircuts for themselves, but they get them to look good for their women as well. Letting him know he looks good, will give him that extra boost to his confidence. 
  3. Instead of telling him what he does wrong, try telling him what he does right: Men already think we nag all of the time. Think about it, if you had someone constantly telling you what you do/did wrong and never what you do/did right, you would think the same thing. And it would not motivate you to make the needed changes either. Try telling him what he does right for change. By focusing on the positives in your relationship, it will decrease the negativity within your relationship. When you bring something to his attention, he would more than likely be more inclined to make the changes, like clean the toilet, because you told him on numerous of occasions you appreciated the small things he does. 
  4. Spend time with him: I am not a fan of sports and I barely watch cartoons. However, my man love sports and these Japanese cartoons (they are really good btw). I take a genuine interest in what he likes to watch on television and the things he likes to do. This allows us to spend time together and a chance for me to learn more about him. 
  5. Support your man dreams/goals: My boyfriend is an actor and model. I am at every event he has and I offer advise on areas where he can approve and what he did well. We are building a future together and I understand his success is my success. I want nothing more for him to live out all of his dreams and if I can help in anyway, I am going to do just that. Do not be a dead beat downer and tell him what he cannot do. Instead, encourage and breathe life into your man. By taking a genuine interest in his dreams, it shows you care about what is important to him. 

These are just some starting points to show appreciation for your man. Now, I am not saying this will prevent cheating in a relationship, but making sure your man feels appreciated could decrease the chances of cheating. 

Make sure to comment below some of your suggestions and add any feedback to what I have stated below. 

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