Although, I am 23 years old, I feel I have some pretty good pointers on how to have a prosperous and healthy relationship. Not only have I had a class or two on romantic relationships, but I study them a lot. Now, I am not saying what I am suggesting will automatically allow you to have a perfect relationship and or fix what’s wrong in your relationship, because no relationship is perfect and it takes two willing individuals to make the relationship work. However, the advise and pointers I am providing, will help guide you to having a healthy relationship.
Listed below are the 5 top things (with 1 extra) I believe will lead you to have a prosperous and healthy relationship!
- Love yourself: Loving yourself is the best gift you can give to yourself/ man. When you truly love yourself, you are able to fully love someone else. You have accepted and embraced the person you are and you will not tolerate or let anyone tear you down, because you know your worth. Too many times we look for our men to validate our worth and to tell us we are beautiful, when we should be telling ourselves that. I’m not saying he cannot compliment you, because he should. However, when you wait for him to validate the woman you are, then you’re kinda setting yourself up for disappointment. Truth is, sometimes your man may not compliment you in the way you want him to. And that should be okay, because you don’t need him to validate the woman you are. You all ready know you are the ish and what you bring to the table, so when he does compliment you, he is only re stating what you already know.
- Trust: When you do not have trust in a relationship…you have nothing. You cannot have a successful relationship with someone when you don’t trust them. Given, trust is something that is gained over time. However, don’t be so quick to accuse him of doing something if you don’t have any proof or if he is not giving you any reason to believe he is doing so. NOT ALL MEN CHEAT. We tend not to trust someone because of our past hurt or our guy is doing something we don’t like. If that is the case, communicate that. Address the issue and nip it in the bud before it is too late. No good man wants to be constantly accused, just like us good women don’t.
- Communication: Communication is key! If you are not able to effectively communicate, then you will have a lot of problems that will go unresolved. Whether it is good or bad, you have to openly communicate about what is bothering you. If you are keeping everything bottled in, how is your guy supposed to know what’s going on? Men are not mind readers and if you want him to understand what is going on and why you are upset, you have to tell him. You have to always be willing to hear what he has to say when he lets you know what is bothering him as well. It is a two way street.
- It is okay to spoil him sometimes: We get so caught up in “it is all about us” syndrome. I partly blame society for that. We tend to point the fingers at the opposite sex and we get caught up in this competition. Where, if you are in the right relationship and you are both committed to reaching the same end goal, you are not in competition with one another. It should never be tit for tat. When you get into that type of pattern, you are in trouble and you may want to address that ASAP. Believe it or not, men like to hear they are handsome and that you like what they have on. They like to be treated to a date just as much as we like to. We should never forget about them and make it all about us. Truth is, that is a major turn off to men and most cheating occurs because they did not feel appreciated and or loved.
- Continue to date each other: We tend to get comfortable when we have been in relationships for 1 plus years. We cannot do that. You have to do the things you did in the beginning, because life is not going to become easier, it will only become more challenging. If you are not taking time out of your day and or week to just hang out with one another, it can become so easy to forget about each other. If you have to create a date night jar, do so. It can help keep things spicy in your relationship. You don’t want it to get to a point where you are barely hanging and or speaking with one another. That is where cheating comes into play and secrets are created, and I know you don’t want that. Date night does not have to be expensive either. You can have a movie night or a night where you cook his or her favorite meal.
- *** Compromise: You have to willing to compromise. It cannot always be your way. Sometimes you have to put aside your shego and let your man win the battle sometimes. It does not mean what you had to say is not important, it just means you understand sometimes you have to meet him in the middle.
There are numerous of other things you can do to have a successful and healthy relationship. Those are just my favorite top 6.
Having a long lasting and healthy relationship takes time and dedication. There will be times you may want to call it quits and or don’t like one another. That is life. You have to evaluate why you are upset and communicate what is bothering you so you are able to move forward. Nothing worth having is going to come easy. However, you should never stay in a unhealthy relationship though (I will have more post about this) because you are afraid to start over. Being in the right relationship is a beautiful thing and it is something that is to be enjoyed and not taken for granted.
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